Homebodies

Friday, October 17, 2008

Sorry I've been so sporadic with my posting lately - it seems like I have nothing to say, and then once I start, I end up writing a marathon post! Some random thoughts:
A couple of weeks ago I applied for a part-time job (10 hours/week) at the church library (I didn't get it). In many ways, it would have been ideal - it would give us a little wiggle room financially, I could set my own schedule, put in 3-4 hours at a time, perhaps even put Naomi in the church childcare programs while I worked (convenient for nursing), not to mention the close proximity to both sets of grandparents, who I know would leap at the chance for some time with their beloved granddaughter. :) Yet as I waited to hear back after my interview, I realized how very much I am enjoying being at home with my little girl. It kind of snuck up on me; even though I have been planning to be a 'stay-at-home mom' for as long as I have been planning to be a mom, I wasn't sure if I would totally enjoy it, or whether I might miss the structure of a work schedule and the stimulation of spending most of my time outside my home. After Naomi was born, it took me a little while to adjust to taking care of her - not in a bad way, like adjusting to something negative, just that at first it felt foreign; I enjoyed every aspect (except for the initial pain of breastfeeding), but it was all new and different and didn't feel like it was part of 'me'. Kind of like when you first start school, in kindergarten - everything is new and different, and exciting - but you don't think of yourself as a 'student' until that newness starts to wear off; then things still may be exciting, and you are still learning and growing - but school has become part of your identity. That is how mothering has felt for me. Once it became folded into my natural state of being, I then took a little while to adjust to my new environment and establish a comfortable routine. Now, I am fully immersed in being at home with Naomi, and loving it. My days are filled with reading, writing, knitting, a little bit of photography, cooking and even cleaning - and above all, Naomi. We can go on walks, sometimes a little "outing" to the yarn shop, church or grocery store. The gentle structure of a nursing/naptime schedule is perfect. The only gap is the lack of socialization with friends.
There are several reasons for this gap: 1) I am an introvert, and therefore not prone to seeking out social interaction. 2) We have a young child, and evenings (when we used to get together with friends) are pretty much out due to her early bedtime. We usually have her in bed between 6:30pm and 7:30pm, averaging 7pm - but there is a half hour 'wind-down' routine, and she is not one that is able to either stay up happily or go to sleep anywhere but her own crib. 3) Most of our friends work and/or also have young children, so getting schedules to match up is tricky, if not impossible.
But I know the importance of friends, and spending time with them - for me, Adam and Naomi. The Thursday morning MOPS Bible Study that I have joined helps - but it is only a couple times a month, and it is more for bible study than socialization (imagine that! :) Also, spending time with family helps - but those are different kinds of relationships, albeit good and enriching.
This past week I signed up for a sock knitting class, which will meet every other Wednesday evening - I am looking forward to that, and it will be a good source of adult socialization for me, as well as a place to connect with like-minded Knitters. :) One of the things from college that I really miss are the "Girly Evenings" I used to have with a group of close friends; we would get together at the house owned by one of them, do various creative handcrafts, drink wine or tea and eat chocolate, chat, and watch 'Friends'. It was a lovely break from studying, supremely relaxing, and wonderfully bonding. Those ladies all live on the other side of the Atlantic, however. And gone are the days of being within walking distance of friends whose schedules were as predictable as my own. Friendships in college were just all-around easier; we did so much together, all being theology students at the same university. For me, time spent together has a direct correlation to the closeness of the relationship - and it seems it was easier to find time to spend 'back then'!
So, there is no easy solution (just as there is no easy solution to the parallel problem of 'baby-free' time with my husband) - but I am sure, like everything else, God will make a way! :) And in the meantime, I am really not complaining; I am finding my life very fulfilling!